10 April 2009

of a feminine forum

Today a beloved colleague of mine expressed baffled sentiments over a lighthearted forum of femininity created by a dear comrade that seems oft-discussed amongst the ladies these days. I feel a white flag must now be waved in order to defend the existence of this quiet place floating out and about in the blogosphere, and suppress the possibilities of gender bias or war. 

Contrary to popular belief, Waiting for Boys to Call is not an outlet for bitter feminine aggression or male bashing, nor should it exist as a catty exchange of gossip and dirty laundry. Rather, it is cherished by many of us girls as a united, confident sisterhood in which we are free to exchange carefree tokens of advice and absurdities, and a place where we can all, on some level, attempt to understand our roles as women in a patriarchal world. We are a united front of intelligent, multi-talented women who are strong enough to stand on our own, but also not afraid to sit around and giggle over the potential for a simple phone call from a charming gentleman. Life is no fairy tale, but we still like to be treated like as ladies, every once in awhile...


whitney said...

really. this is one of the best moments in F&G. Nick, Styx, obsessive behavior.

Dylan's a scorpio, he loves secrets, especially ones he cant see.

terese said...

preach it!
beautiful words by an honorary waiting woman.
i appreciate your participation and defense of our sanctuary!

Bryan Ische said...

As much as I love the idea the blog, I can't help but feel that it be detrimental in it's role to you all. Being a boy myself, I have obviously never read or seen what is placed on the blog (other than that incredibly embarrassing video I had a part in), so this is all based on assumption, but I suppose my ideological problems with it stem from what I was speaking of in that video of me.

"Waiting for boys to call" is a blog for women, yes, but it is not about women. It's really about woman's interactions with man. You all being women, have no real ground on which to stand when speaking of the male persona. Say something happens between one of you select women and some male in the community.

Things are said, things are described. Perhaps on the blog, perhaps spoken amongst women (these comments could be taken as a commentary on gossip as a whole). Someone says something about something that happened with them and some guy. People then base assumptions on that guy on how the interactions are retold and interpreted.

Gossip has always been around, but the fact that "Waiting for boys to call" is private and select only encourages such potentially detrimental discussion. The fact that it is in a blog format, wherein information is semi-permanent and free to access by other users gives these potentially detrimental assumptions longer and stronger legs on which to run. There is more opportunity for it to stretch and spread.

Also, the fact that it is such a private and inclusive entity only worsens the potential situation. The male is even more unaware of such things not being said confidentially to a close friend, but written about him on a blog, potentially negatively voiced or confused things, extended into the collective consciousness of the female community. In-the-know women may then change behavior or beliefs towards this male, who has no idea that what he thought was a private matter was brought to such a public level.

Again, this is all based on my own assumption that this blog could potentially be used to actually discuss potential relations with males.

get your foust on said...

bryan, if we told you everything. You would still be confused. Point failed.

notions & potions said...

ALSO, The purpose of this forum is NOT about gossip, as I said. It is more about friends being comfortable enough to share jokes and our own dumb girlish insecurities without the judgement of an outsider.

Women's clubs have been around for ages, Bryan, and they are not a detriment to women's relationships with men, but rather a way to strengthen a bond between women in a society that glamorizes female jealousy and cattiness. Consider it the 21st century's version of ladies doing lunch.

Bryan Ische said...

How many women are subscribed to "waiting for boys to call" now? The last time I was able to sneak over someone's shoulder, the list of participants seemed to have grown to quite a number. Are you saying that you're more comfortable sharing your "girlish" insecurities with another woman you may not know very well over a male that you are close with? And why is that? This is what I don't understand about "waiting for boys to call." I doubt the plight of the woman is so incredibly unique that no male in anyway could relate in anyway to it, and perhaps offer helpful insight, being they are on the other end of the spectrum.

I guess I'm simply saying I don't agree with exclusivity based on some physicality.
Exclusivity = discrimination. All that privatization and exclusivity does is show that the group has something to hide. So although "waiting for boys to call" may encourage connection and growth within the female community, as you say, it does nothing to help (and potentially harm) the relations between all people (male and female) as a whole.

Nerdlinger said...

Bryan, since you've never seen the blog, I think you have a lot of incorrect assumptions.

I think the blog is for venting, not gossip, there is a difference. I don't think you understand that most of the posts are very vague, and not about specific people. I ussuslly have no idea who people are talking about. And it's not always about SOMEONE, it's about feelings or themes in past and present relationships. But, I've probably already said too much.

And there is a need for gender specific communities. Sure, we could have a guy join, or have it be co-ed, but that would be a different thing. Not everything has to be co-ed and inclusive, there is a benefit in being alone with your own gender at times. And feel free to start a co-ed one Bryan.

Love is Hell said...

im sayin' im waitin to be apart of the sisterhood

Ellie Reynolds said...

this is hilarious. totally worth having a female only blog - if only to get a guy this worked up.

you mean we can give birth and write super secret information about men?

totally craze cakes.

Bryan Ische said...


I promise I'm not getting "worked up."

I just find it interesting. And I do encourage the continued existence of the blog.

jenny. said...

most interesting read of the day = all of the above!

real life, ladies. real life.